Tuesday, July 10, 2012

Why Did I Get Up This Morning??

10:15 this morning: My attending tries to call my partner...the call is dropped due to spotty reception on some floors at Chicago Hope Hospital. I was already going to move to a different floor, so I call her...then I lose signal. I call her back...this is what I get: "Luckyone, I'm really busy right now what do you need?"
...excuse me all to hell lady
Me: "Oh Hi Dr. Busy. Awesome Partner dropped the call so I was seeing what was up."
Dr. Busy: "Oh yeah...I haven't seen either of you this morning...I was waiting for you."
Me: "We had lecture at nine this morning. I wrote two of my notes before then, I didn't see you on the floor. I'm now on One Floor, Awesome Partner is on Another Floor.
 ....dead silence...doctor speaks to peeps in the back ground...blah blah blah blah CLICK!!
A fellow student informs me that just before I made this phone call, Dr. Busy (who is pregnant) drops her brand new iPhone (that apparently had its own drama) in between the elevator and the door...from a floor we do not round on with her. Naturally this must be my fault. It turns out she spends an hour trying to get her phone out of the bottom of the elevator shaft while I was seeing my patients.

An hour or so later (still no clue where this woman's been because both of us have been on the respective floors she rounds on) we're going to lunch and she sees us...on a floor that has nothing to do with patient care
Dr. Busy: I WAS WAITING FOR YOU IN THE ICU AT 7 AM FOR AN HOUR (PS We never round before 8, and are always called to round and FYI,  Luckyone was in the ICU at 745...no doctor)
This isn't how this rotation goes, you can't just write your note...you have to round with me." (which we do, DAILY). At this point I want to say: um, but we were ON THE effing FLOOR WAITING FOR YOU WHILE WE SAW OUR PATIENTS and this is what we've been doing for three weeks while you run off god knows where while we see our patients, and at some random, magical time throughout the day we discuss the patients with you. But you can't say that...as much as you'd love to...So you just smile and nod and feel your dignity shrink with the Greek economy...

So...that drama over with: 1pm, we get called (as usual) to the ER by the doctor to see two new patients. I go to one end, and come to find the necessary chart is at the other ER desk, where my partner has gone for her patient. I walk up to the desk, am there for about two seconds....we get accosted by one of the nurses at the desk: 
Nurse Psycho: "This just really bothers me about medical students. They just walk in and start going through things and never say hello and think they own the place..."
Awesome Partner: "Um, I'm sorry you didn't hear me say hello, I said it but you were talking and I thought you were ignoring me." 
We go see our patients and get out of the ER to get away from Psycho Nurse Lady, informing Dr. Busy that we've seen the patients, they're being admitted, and we're writing our H&Ps. She says she's coming to the floor. Half an hour later she shows up: 
"Why didn't you wait for me in the ER? Were you too afraid after being reprimanded??"


I'm so sorry, Dr. Busy. Yes I INDEED made your phone fall four floors down the elevator. I indeed prevented you from getting a protective case. I HAVE THAT POWER and I can SO read your mind when you do not inform us that you want us on the floor an hour earlier than you've ever told us to be there....I'M THAT GOOD. It, assuredly, is my fault that while we were doing what we were INSTRUCTED to do...by YOU, you were worrying about your phone--a privilege I most assuredly would not be afforded--and thus I should wait to be reprimanded for not rounding and seeing the patients. I am SO sorry that I couldn't track you down by my powers of telepathy...so I had to call you to find you so we could round....and I'm on the RIGHT BLOODY FLOOR...while you are NOT
 while you drop your phone...which again is my fualt...because I HAVE THAT POWER. So sorry to interupt your day...that you then blamed me for not doing...CURSES AND ROT!!!!!! I'm so sorry that you're pregnant and ill. Even though said baby is clearly not mine...

At the end of the day, Awesome Partner and I just sat there looking at each other going...Fuck.me

I should've gone back to bed when I  rounded the corner this morning to find I would need to run to catch my bus...

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