Some days...you just have to laugh.

Definitely one of the more bizarre calls I've taken recently.

The long and short of it went something like this:

Member is incredibly frustrated with the process. Can't say I blame you. It's a clustergem (AREN'T THEY A GEM!!! I'LL DRINK TO THEM!!!...wait, no singing...or drinking.) Member rattles off about nine psychiatric medications. Oh good. 

Member then begins a rant about the Big Frickin' Insurance Company.

"I just...I just wanna find somebody important in that damn company...and I wanna ream their rear ends!...and I won't use lube!!

Don't laugh. Don't laugh. Don't laugh. Don't laugh. Don't laugh. Don't laugh. Don't laugh. Don't laugh. Don't laugh. Don't laugh. Don't laugh. Don't laugh. Don't laugh. Don't laugh. Don't laugh. Don't laugh.Don't laugh. Don't laugh. Don't laugh. Don't laugh. Don't laugh. Don't laugh. Don't laugh. Don't laugh.Don't laugh. Don't laugh. Don't laugh. Don't laugh. Don't laugh. Don't laugh. 

...but I had to laugh. I put the microphone on mute and I snickered...quite loudly. I wrote down the quote and showed it to my supervisor. Who didn't know whether to laugh or guffaw. Some days you just have to laugh.

I have to say one of the most complicated conversations I've ever had, word for word, is trying to explain the spelling of "Uric acid" and "gout" through a Cantonese interpreter... This was my third Chinese interpreter call in a row. It was a long evening!

Oh my

That horrible...horrible moment when you're in the bathroom at work and you hear somebody going "aghhhhhh" "yeahhhhhhh" "mmmmm"....and you know he's alone.

I'm like...uh. I'm done. But I'm going to pretend not to be sos I can stay in this stall and never have to know who that was

My interviews are over, work is rolling right along, so about the only thing I have to write about is more...colorful...customers at work, and match list. Match list is probably the more kosher topic. I've made my list, but I haven't certified it yet. I just wanted a little more time to think it over. I know my top two and bottom two, and I'm fairly certain of those. It's the middle bit that I'm wobbling over. They're all pretty much equal, so it's hard to find something that differentiates them other than the town they're located it. It might just come down to one that doesn't have a Chipotle...

Me: it's 10pm, I just got home. I'm hungry, need some food.
Brain: go to the gym!!!
Me:...I need food...
Brain: So eat and go to the gym.
Me: Ok, I'm at the gym, but I'm still kinda tired.
Brain: YOU MUST FINISH.
Me: Fine!
................
Me: it's 1235, I've gymed and showered. Bed time
Brain: Yeah right!! You just ran six miles. I'm not ready to sleep yet.
Me: You tricked me.

Two very hard verses to live by...

Matthew 5:39: "But I say unto you, That ye resist not evil: but whosoever shall smite thee on thy right cheek, turn to him the other also." This is totally unnatural for me. If somebody hurts me I'm inclined to hurt them back, and I want it to come back with interest. I'm good at it, which I'm not proud of. I'm also inclined to displace that anger. Even worse.

1 Thessalonians 5:18: "In every thing give thanks: for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus concerning you." Does that one really need explanation? There's plenty of things we probably don't think or want to be thankful for. 

The job...

It's hard to write about the new job without breaking a ton of rules...but guess I can share a few gems.

I'm not a commuter. I may rue the day I stated this, but I have no desire to do 30+ minute commutes for the rest of my life.

- Caller gets mad at me because he designated his wife as the primary, and not him. He then blames me for scamming him. Okkkkkk.

- Caller gets mad at me because she can't read an English (apparently) mentioning that if she didn't choose a doctor for her HMO, Big frickin' insurance company will do so for her...at some point in the future. Yup, that's totally my fault.

- More than one member being less than five feet tall...and almost weighting 400 pounds. I'm not the most accurate calculator of BMI in my head...but that's just a smidge high.