I went to the dentist this morning, thrilling I know. I don't think I'll ever believe it when a dentist tells me that gums shouldn't bleed when they get poked, prodded, and scraped by a sharp, pointy piece of metal...
I found this list of 25 Random Facts about "You." I thought I would repost it here just for fun. Pretty much all of them are still true, and most of them are still relevant. Dated 2 February 2009.
1. First and foremost, I am one of the most random individuals you will ever meet. 2. The last time I willingly ate at McDonald's/Wendy's/Burger King/Hardee's for a meal that wasn't breakfast I was no older than nine. 3. I am a travel junkie. You would be hard pressed to find a place I wouldn't travel to, except Los Angeles. Why? I don't know. 4. I am an A1, First Class, Card Carrying N-E-R-D. Ask my boss. 5. Building on the above, I tell really corny science jokes at work that only my boss appreciates. (Thanks Dr. PCHEM). 6. I hate slow drivers. I hate fast drivers. 7. I have the most random taste in music and movies. I gave up a long time ago trying to give it a description. 8. I also have absolutely no qualms belting the most ridiculous songs at the top of my lungs. Think power ballads. 9. I'm incredibly sarcastic. If it offends you I'm sorry, but not really. 10. I sing in the shower. Loudly. Ask my college roommate. 11. I'm a very private person, but I can talk your ear off. 12. When I was young I wanted to be a school bus driver. 13. Garlic and cheese are gifts from the hand of God. Put them together and you have a very happy camper. 14. I am at least ten years behind the times on TV. I hate waiting a week to find out what happens, so I wait until it goes into reruns and DVD releases so I can watch it all in one week. 15. I love to dance. Whether or not it looks good is entirely up to you. 16. I'm a frequent flyer mile junkie. 17. I'm a Facebook Whore. 18. I like to speak in third person. 19. Poor grammar infuriates me. The inability to differentiate between "they're", "there", and "their" ... I mean really, THINK! 20. Sports commentators are some of the most annoying people on the planet, just after politicians. 21. I think Hannah Montana is funny. 22. Two toes on each of my feet are connected by a piece of skin. 23. I talk to myself. A lot. The sad thing is I sometimes think people are actually listening. 24. I've seen Mt. Ararat, and it was one of the most awe-inspiring sights of my life. 25. If you try to organize my chaotic system I would never find a thing.
I have made a few direct and indirect references to matters of a more personal nature. Some of it has been full-blown kvetching, and others have attempted to be more introspective and honest assessments. It's not as though one person is completely awful, because that is not the case. What seems to have happened is two people who want and/or need different things somehow became intertwined with each other. The disentanglement has provided some unpleasant moments, and to be completely honest the jury's still out on what the final outcome will be.
I would ordinarily keep something like that to myself, but a friend made a comment that "wow, so doctors have real people problems, too," and that got me thinking (that's the smoke you smell). So whoever might read this will know, yes, medical students and doctors have real people problems. In fact, we are more likely to have relationships issues than our non-medical counterparts. Of the hundreds of people in my starting class, I think I can count on one hand, maybe two, the number of people who are in a relationship with the same person they began medical school with. Furthermore, most of them are married. My problem is not unique, and I have actually seen medical students try to out-do each other with regards to relationship downfalls--we are a competitive bunch after all. It's a subject easily approached and nearly everyone has a story. But a great many people see us as a different species.
I think it is so easy to overlook the fact that doctors are human beings. Professionally, we are expected to function at a superhuman level. We aren't allowed to make mistakes, and if you do you are certainly going to hear about it. We aren't allowed to be human, and I understand why. Unfortunately though, the unintended consequence is we lose much of our humanity across the board, where in some cases humanity might be helpful for the doctor-patient relationship. I think it's just easier to forget that you're a human being sometimes in order to simply do your job properly and in the ultimate best interests of your patients (ie their health). The first week of medical school we did an exercise where we were instructed to rate what characteristics were most important for doctors to have. We were given a list and instructed to rate them. All of them were important and my group didn't really think any of them was less important than another, but that was the task. Most of us put "Friendliness" toward the end of the list. Granted there is some selection bias as we were all medical students, but many of us reasoned that a less-than-amiable doctor can still treat you well as long as he/or she knows their stuff. Obviously we would all prefer Ms. or Mr. Congeniality for our physicians, but the reality is that we can all probably point to doctors who have done their task to perfection, but are complete jerks.
Anyway, back to my sad story, the song below I think summarizes the situation quite well. I think it worth while to point out that the song applies to both parties equally. I couldn't find a youtube link to let whoever wants to hear the song, I guess I could load it myself...but that's a copyright issue I'd prefer not to tango with. It's definitely a song worth a listen. Patty Loveless can wrench your heart out with one note.
"Nobody Here by That Name" -- Patty Loveless
I can tell by lookin' at the shadows across the wall Without pickin' up, who it is, who decided to call It's late and you're all tore down You woke up darlin' and found You ran another one off and you want somebody to blame But there's nobody here by that name
While you carry on about another who broke your heart Well, I remember the night you tore my world apart Everything I could want was mine I'd love you till the end of time Well, that was then and now ain't it a shame How there's nobody here by that name
You want somebody to help you, somebody to tell you To play along as long as you will play Looking for one more fool who will never mind the rules of the game
But there's nobody here, no, there's nobody here No, there's nobody here by that name
Any time love is on the table the stakes are high But I thought this was love so I laid it all on the line You nearly took everything I had Never knew I could hurt so bad But at least I left with every pieace of this heart of mine
Im walking away a winner Im walking away from a losing game With my pride intact and my vision back I can say I know where Im going and I know I'll be alright Im walking away a winner Walking back into my life It was a hard way to go when I didn't know when to leave If you knew all along baby you weren't telling me Now I know I could live or die Im heading down the right road now Still believeing in a way That a real love is meant to be
Im walking away a winner Im walking away from a losing game With my pride intact and my vision back I can say I know where Im going and I know I'll be alright Im walking away a winner Walking back into my life Im walking away a winner Im walking away from a losing game With my pride intact and my vision back I can say I know where Im going and I know I'll be alright Im walking away a winner Walking back into my life
"...that is not a simple question. A simple question would be like 'What is the molecular structure of uraninium?'"...really. Elements don't have molecular structure...They have atomic structure. (insert eye roll)
One of my favorite stores sent out one of those emails telling me that EVERYTHING IS 70% OFF AND YOU GET FREE SHIPPING (on all purchases of over $150). I was browsing through the offerings, but not really impressed with much of anything they had on offer. I wasn't surprised really, as I haven't liked anything they've put out this season, but maybe that will change when the spring/summer stuff goes on sale. And I was just annoyed. Every model was probably the absolutely thinnest person they could find, with the exception of the underwear models. They find the biggest, beefiest models they can find for that foolishness. You'd think if stores wanted to actually sell their crap they'd make it so normal sized people can wear it. Most people aren't an XS...I know because during many clearance sales the only sizes you can find are XS and XL+.
Historically at this time of year I would be absolutely stoked for the Australian Open to start. This year, I'm just meh. It's probably because after Novak Djokovic's table-running last season, I don't see prospects for much different happening. In addition...nobody is playing well. Federer has flashes of brilliance, but I don't think he can hack it in a best of five in Australia. Rafa MIGHT have a bee in his bonnet about losing to Djoker six straight times in finals last year, and want to do something about it. Wouldn't you? But can he actually beat Djoker with a bum shoulder and a tweaked knee?
With regards to the women, I would say Clijsters, but her play has been less than mediocre ever since winning last year's tournament. I was going to say Kvitova until she took a mental walkabout in the Sydney tournament in a big match against another headcase, last year's finalist Li Na. And Serena Williams? Please just go away, or at least stop talking. I want to love you, I want to say you're so great that you're untouchable, and every time I start to...you open your mouth.
The last time a grand slam was on I was hunkered down and studying for the comp, and only got to see night matches, or ones that I KNEW were going to be good. I had to skip most matches. NOT THIS TIME!!!
To feel certain emotions, we depend on another. Certain things we are incapable of feeling on our own. It's not like a test, or a game of a tennis, or running a mile. Certain feelings require another person. If that person is unwilling or incapable of it, though, it's only fair to stop asking. Right?
How many of us really care about a politicians kids being dragged out there on stage...I can sort of imagine the dialogue: "Dad, why am I being pushed onto a stage and forced to grin like an idiot while I'm blinded by thousands of camera flashes?"...(through gritted teeth)..."Because some people say it makes your dad look good! Now keep smiling so I can get a job that guarantees you won't see me very often!" "Dad...what's a primary?"........
So after almost a month of shredding my fingernails and anxiously checking my email and waiting for the mail patiently waiting, my USMLE Step 1 results finally arrived. Before checking the results I had a mild panic attack, and I don't believe I breathed while checking the scores. What went through my head was something along these lines: Dear God in heaven please have let me passed because otherwise the last two years of my life have been for naught. Should I really open this up...because if I just leave the results unknown in perpetuity there is still a chance I may have passed. Oh my god, I know I missed that question and that question and that question, ok I got that one right but what about all the others???? Oh my god. Just let me die now if I didn't pass. Okay...the last part is slightly melodramatic, but hey, I'm not a monument to perfection. After opening the attached link, the tracking down the appropriate username and password, clicking on the next link, then waiting for it to download, THEN opening the downloaded pdf...I saw the result. After all that, the only thing that went through my head was, next.
...stay tuned for what will assuredly be more kvetching about the cumbersome nature of organizing clinical rotations...but for now...I'll attempt to do another cartwheel.