Thursday, May 29, 2014


Patient: I used to take Cialis every day. But I haven't in a while. 

Me: (knows the answer but there's always a chance) and what for sir?

Patient: To get a hard-on!

...I'm sorry I had to ask. Glad you feel tact is overrated. 

Sunday, May 11, 2014

You're not Helping Me...

I was sifting through the routine calls when I get a call from a mother trying to pay the bill for her THIRTY year-old son. She calls the day of the payment deadline, but she cannot get anywhere "no matter what number I call nobody is helping me. They keep asking for my son's member ID number."

I'm immediately annoyed because even if a thirty year-old is unemployed his mommy shouldn't be handling the issue. Then the mother proceeds to get very annoyed at me, and asks three times for her son's member ID number. Three times the answer is the same: "Ma'am, I cannot give out that information. Your son is over 18 and federal law prohibits me from doing so without him explicitly authorizing me to do so." She continues to ask again, as if I'm really just doing it for fun.

After the third time she just says "You're not helping me. Bye." Click. I'd be lying if I said I felt bad about being unhelpful.

That is one thing that has been driven home while doing this job: people do not pay attention, or listen. And they do so, blissfully.