Tuesday, February 24, 2015


A medical student just called me sir.  SIR!! I feel like going all Peppermint Patty


I was sitting in an awesome little Polish diner last night (the kind where you watch Wheel of Fortune with perfect strangers) and the weather said that this is the coldest February on record. 
In lieu of the constant updates about temperature and Polar vortices, I propose we make a much simpler "Scale" easily adapted to the local level of acclimatization:
Level 1: shorts
Level 2: light jacket/sweater
Level 3: coat -- add scarf, gloves, and hat as you see fit
Level 4: Level 3 + snot freezes in nose and car makes terrifying sounds and new rattles
Level 5: May God have mercy on your soul

Tuesday, February 17, 2015


I think I may have the most irritating patient of all time. A patient blocking my ability to shut the door, or literally chasing after me across the unit milieu, might not be annoying if the patient wasn't so pitiful. The patient is not redirectable, and has literally fallen apart. I say this about few people, but this patient has literally lost his/her mind. It's challenging as a physician, and frustrating at the same time. The patient is very intrusive, with ideas of reference and loose associations. Everybody's annoyed. My main concern now is if the patient is going to get clocked because he/she keeps bothering all of the other patients.

In other news, Lake Michigan is a solid sheet of ice near the shore where I live. It's wonderfully beautiful. And our lives keep moving on like there's no big deal. On the other hand, Georgia, where my parents live, got less than an inch of snow and everybody freaks out. Hell's bells folks, I got through last year's 73 inches of snow with a rear-wheel-drive 2000 Ford Explorer. Mental blocks.