Saturday, December 31, 2011


Emotionally I'm not in a good place. I'm beyond tired of waiting on things to happen. I'm tired of everything being dependent on somebody else's time schedule. I'm not sure what to do about somebody that's been a very close and serious part of my life for almost a year now. It's become obvious to me that the situation is static and is not working for me. But how do I change that without being a complete jerk? You want me as a friend...but you want to keep me on line romantically because you've admitted you have feelings for me. That's just not cool. You don't want to rock your own boat because it's "safe." That's a copout. Nothing worth having is "safe" or easy. You want to talk about living with me...thankfully I don't take you seriously...but later tell me that you just wanted to say it because you wanted to see what it would feel like to hear yourself say it...excuse me??? Perhaps it would've been a good idea to say that to somebody else...

In local news it's New Year's Eve. Not one of my favorite nights. I had originally planned to do something, but last night I went to sleep feeling like a bug under a brick, and I woke up not feeling emotionally or physically much better. Last year I went to Athens with Redd and Amigo...but Redd and I felt like grandparents at a preschool, so we gracefully bowed out not long after the countdown. In general I never have a great view on New Year's Eve because there are just so many people...most of them pretending to have the time of their lives. Ugh. There's just very little pleasurable about standing shoulder to shoulder with 400 of your drunk friends trying to do the Macarena, during which elbows and armpits continually find your face. No creo asi. On top of that I'm incredibly wary of having more than one drink because the police are justifiably everywhere. The problem is I need more than one drink to ignore the 400 drunk somebodies.

I'm just I'm gonna sit here at home probably, have a glass of wine...and watch All About Eve. Go me?

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