Had one of THE most interesting cases in the OR today. I was going through pre-op and saw a patient who wasn't on the schedule (always a good sign) so I asked the secretery.
"Removal of foreign body from the rectum," was my answer. Oh goody! We had one of those last year and it was a Starbucks frappucino glass bottle. Genius. I asked the patient, discreetly as possible, what happened. He states that he was drinking Saturday night and does not remember much of anything. He states that his friends must've inserted whatever the object was into his rectum. Ummm, ok, sounds like a stretch but let's keep everything open to possibilities. Said patient also knew his birthday, but was seven years off on how old he is. So we're looking a patient with memory (likely related to alcohol) issues. Which means he's going to need higher doses of anesthetic.
The ER report made note of an X-ray that indicated the foreign body so I finished my pre-op stuff and went to have a look. I wish I could post it but blast that HIPPA. What we saw was a rather non-descript but definitely distinct object that did not belong there. We all took guesses (yes folks medical students do discuss their cases). Some said a bottle. Some said dildos. One person even said a plastic bottle (which I'm not sure how that would work). Anyway, it came time to take it out. After a few attempts the doctor requested that the patient be completely paralyzed because he just couldn't get it to come out. He could feel it, however, and said that whatever it was it was "wrapped in a condom." By this point half the OR staff and all of the students within earshot are in the room (the poor patient), waiting for the moment when it is extracted. It finally came out, and it turned out to be a carrot, and a rather large one at that.
Yeah dude...your friends are such douches that they'd shove a carrot up your ass but they were nice enough to bag it up. I'm not buying it.