Monday, September 17, 2012


Which would be the most appropriate "crazy" song? The one by Patsy Cline (that I sing in the shower to the distress of my neighbors), the one by Britney Spears (which is annoying) or the one by Gnarles Barkley. Decide and get back to me...

Anyway, I have noticed recently that crazy, immature and/or emotionally fragile people are attracted to me like a duck to a june bug. A friend of mine (my best friend, actually) tells me that to her and many other people I appear stability, solidity, and in her words "have your [stuff] together." I'm not here to laud myself, because to the contrary I don't see myself a particularly cuddly individual until I am beyond comfortable with another. I can be quite brash, blunt, brutally honest, and brazen. I'm well-known in my circle of friends for speaking my mind and not easily taken advantage of or trounced upon. What can get lost is the impression that I don't care about another's opinion or their right to have it (and to some people a lack of agreement is a total invalidation of their existence) because the thought of intentionally hurting someone's feelings actually makes me ill. If I recognize my own lack of tact I try to rephrase or address the issue. Sometimes it works; sometimes further discussion is required. At the same token I'm not overly influenced by most peoples' opinions of me (much to my mother's consternation) because hey, if you don't like me there are 6 billion people walking around the planet. I think I'll get over it. On the flipside, I am fiercely loyal to my friends, once we get there. But I'm slow to befriend, probably because of all the above "B" characteristics. I swear I'm not really this complicated...

Once the needy folk have found me, they STICK, and lean on me for support. Not being omniscient, I don't figure this out until I've nearly spent what little emotional resources I want to spare. They are clingy, demanding, and after a while insufferable.  At that, I'm sure I'm not the only one, and I'm sure said individuals lean on anyone, but I've had quite a few in the last year that just deem me "leanable." But there are a few problems:

1) I loathe whining and whiners. For this very reason I opened a blog simply as an outlet to avoid annoying people with whatever stupid problems I have. Read it if you like and keep moving if you're not interested and I shan't be offended. I especially dislike incessant whiners who have a daily conundrum yet can't and/or won't do a blasted thing to FIX said problem. Which leads me to...

2) They still come to me with their insufferable whining, yet don't listen, and expect me to continue listening. And we have found one of NotyetDr. Luckyone's serial pet peeves: People who do not listen or learn from their mistakes yet continually foul up their own lives. 

I don't mind listening if someone either needs to vent and move on. These folks usually just want to talk and don't really care if you're listening or not. An occasional "uh huh" or "oh my" will usually do the trick and make them feel heard--but at the end of the day most couldn't care less if someone is actually listening. This person doesn't care what you think, doesn't want an answer, and almost always is over their problem after the vent. Cool. I can handle it. It's harmless and have been there myself. 

Then you have the person who has a genuine problem, and seeks another's advice. Sometimes they take said advice, and sometimes they don't. Again, they usually solve the problem one way or another. Don't have a problem with either route, as they're actively solving the problem.

The aggravation is this person: The person who comes to you for the umpteenth time about some silly problem (at the start) that becomes idiotic after a few rounds, yet argues with any and all proposed solutions, and never listens to ANYONE'S advice because quite conveniently this person also indulges in pity parties. Frequently, the whiners begin to project their problems onto me, and begin blaming me for all their insecurities. Try as one may they typically don't stop until the connection is severed. It's quite frustrating. It is with these people that I reach the end of my (admittedly short) tether. Leave me alone if you're just going to whine. Callous it may be, but I simply don't care about the self-created, melodramatic little problems upon which you thrive. Leave me out of it. I am terribly sorry you have the emotional maturity of a 12 year-old despite being in your mid 20's. I am sorry you don't have the perspective God gave a goose. I am beyond at fault for all the wrong doing in your life. Yes, do please blame me for your lengthy list of insecurities. And yes do please not listen to anything I try to say to address your concerns, because naturally and invariably what I have to say isn't satisfactory and exacerbates your feelings of ineptitude. 

And now we see why luckyone did not pursue a career as a counselor or therapist.  

Who says people who need people are the luckiest people...what schmaltz. Okay, not always...

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