It's realllly bad when you let out an SBD and the room suddenly smells better than it did a second ago. Why? Because the patient in the room smells like a rabbit cage. I used to have rabbits and their cages had a very distinct smell.
Why do you need to ask someone who smells like an ash tray, with wheezing you can hear from across the room, whether or not they smoke?!? DUH!!! Of course they smoke! The better question is probably how many cigarettes they smoke per day!
A patient's spouse commenting on one of the side effects of ketoconazole, which is being used for a patient's prostate cancer: "Is that why he don't get horny? You gotta do something about that." Do I laugh, or wet myself??