Night Call

Last night I had another night shift. Frequently on night shift it is quite quiet and I am able to abscond to the call room and get at least two or three hours of what is amusingly called "sleep." Not last night. Last night, I walked onto the floor, and saw a full board. Half of whom were likely to deliver. Here we go! I settle in and prep myself for a busy night. Sure enough, it was busy. I had at least four admissions, and four deliveries. 

The first delivery was going something like this: Normal delivery...normal delivery...normal....HOLY CRAP BABY PROJECTILE BABY!!! The mother had elected not to receive an epidural, and seemed bound and determined to get the kid out. Out it came...like a cannonball. I definitely was not ready for that. 

Later, there was another delivery, relatively straightforward, with no notable complications. Afterward I was starving so I went to grab some food, and I come back to find a baby being pushed out. Curses. 
The funniest part was this exchange, with a Spanish-speaking patient.

Midwife: That's probably the hymenal ring tearing and bleeding here.

Me: Isn't it a bit late for that??

Nurses die laughing. I'm not sure had it not been three in the morning I would've made that joke right then and there.

After more admissions, and perhaps another delivery?? It was about 515 in the morning, and I was starting to wonder how I was going to be able to last another hour and fifteen minutes. Right about that time We ehard somebody yell NURSE!...Just when you're wondering how to stay awake one more hour...a father come storming out of the room yelling HEY, THE BABY CAME OUT...And just like that I'm wide awake...This mother had elected to receive an epidural, and apparently it was so effective and she dilated so quickly she did not feel herself contracting the baby right out of her uterus. We all jumped up and sure enough, there was the baby just sitting there on the bed, crying. I quickly grabbed some gloves and took care of the cord and cord blood (seemingly my role). After that it was about thirty minutes until my reliever was due, and I read and chatted. I had started to get rather annoyed with one of the nurses in particular who would not stop talking, and loudly at that. But I kept my mouth shut and stayed in the corner, wanting to smack her and ask her to please shut her trap. I mean c'mon...people are sleeping and more importantly, sleep-deprived medical students are annoyed. 

I went home and hopped in the shower (it's absolutely necessary to rinse off the hospital grime and shtook) and promptly went to sleep. I slept far later than I intended, past two o'clock. Now I'm hoping that I don't have difficulties getting to sleep tonight. In the hopes that it helps, I plan on going for a run for about thirty minutes.