Would I like my arse grilled or fried today?

Tis the question I always ask myself prior to rounds. No matter how hard you try, you are at the mercy and whim of an attending. If you attempt to organize it the way he just instructed a previous student to, he will change his mind. Fact. And there's nothing you can do about it. Lather, rinse, repeat tomorrow. If rounds with an attending were to be served in a restaurant the menu would look something like this: "A generous portion of your arse, your choice of grilled or fried. Served with a side helping of no-matter-what-you-say-it's-wrong. Special daily with each different attending. Degree of doneness will vary."