Graduation

Was not at all what I hoped it would be.

A four day trip turned into fourteen hours in Miami.

Grandmama had a stroke. I didn't even want to go. Stayed in ATL until she was stable. Mom got on the phone and said "here's your ticket. It leaves in two and a half hours." What? So I hauled it to the airport. Thankfully a friend picked me up at Miami International (at midnight) and drove me to the hotel, and then to the arena. The day was largely a blur. I noticed that one of the physicians who'd written a letter of recommendation for me was hooding graduates. When it came my turn to go up on the stage, I made sure that he was the one hooding me. He recognized me and gave me a hub, "oh my gosh I'm seeing all of my students here today!" It was one nice thing about a very bad day. I'd be lying if I didn't own that I had tears in my eyes most of the ceremony. I didn't want to be there. I was there alone.

Afterward the same friend invited me to lunch, then I realized his entire family would be there. And they paid for my lunch. THEN he drove me back to the airport...I'll need to buy him at least one meal for his troubles.

I then fly back to Atlanta, where we thought she was going to go soon. But she didn't. I had one more week of work, and I couldn't keep sitting there. So I get back to Chicago, and after two days of work I get the call. I was able to go into work that day, but that turned out to be my last day at that job. Not that I was really distraught about it because I was ready for that job to be over. But I felt bad about having to say, "um, yeah, I know I said my last day was Saturday, but it's today. Sorry about that. I'll come into tomorrow if you need me." But they didn't. So I'm done.

The funeral was a funeral. My family asked me to sing "Amazing Grace." At my grandmama's funeral. Grand. I couldn't look at anybody while I sang. Then, after the graveside (because one hour of torture isn't enough, we need another 30 minutes) the bottom fell out of the sky. It was just a crappy weekend.

Me: "What city is that office in?"

Person: "Homeless asshole."

Me: "....Would you mind spelling the name of that town?"

Person: "H-O-M-O-S-A-S-S-A."

....oops.

Our education system at work

Me: do you have any medical conditions or take any medications?

Person: No. I only take medicine for my thyroid and cholesterol...

Me: .......*logic fail*

Your ADD medication isn't working

Spent 20 minutes on the phone with someone rustling papers and pull bottles with the attention span of a cocker spaniel. She never did find what she was looking for...and was still rustling through papers when the call ended.

TMI

Patient: I used to take Cialis every day. But I haven't in a while. 

Me: (knows the answer but there's always a chance) and what for sir?

Patient: To get a hard-on!

...I'm sorry I had to ask. Glad you feel tact is overrated. 

You're not Helping Me...

I was sifting through the routine calls when I get a call from a mother trying to pay the bill for her THIRTY year-old son. She calls the day of the payment deadline, but she cannot get anywhere "no matter what number I call nobody is helping me. They keep asking for my son's member ID number."

I'm immediately annoyed because even if a thirty year-old is unemployed his mommy shouldn't be handling the issue. Then the mother proceeds to get very annoyed at me, and asks three times for her son's member ID number. Three times the answer is the same: "Ma'am, I cannot give out that information. Your son is over 18 and federal law prohibits me from doing so without him explicitly authorizing me to do so." She continues to ask again, as if I'm really just doing it for fun.

After the third time she just says "You're not helping me. Bye." Click. I'd be lying if I said I felt bad about being unhelpful.


That is one thing that has been driven home while doing this job: people do not pay attention, or listen. And they do so, blissfully.

Med-studentitis??

For the last few weeks I had bee experiencing a random PAIN in my left hip. 

What kind of pain you say?

The kind that hurts.

It started in my left leg, near what I thought was my quad. Ok, grand. IT band syndrome. A few friends of mine who run get it frequently. But I'm not a neurotic obsessive runner. I do about six miles of cardio two or three times a week. If I weren't working insanely late hours (and a lot of paid overtime) I would love to do a bit more. But I digress...The pain would be random. I would be sitting (read lounging) in my chair at work answering for the 6745th time that day a question that I cannot comprehend why I'm being asked...when this hellish pain would seize my left leg/hip. The pain then started to migrate up into my hip and lower back. Even better!! Now I have either piriformis syndrome or sciatica. Oh goody!!!! Now I either have a hypertrophied muscle, or a nerve/spinal problem. Dear Lord help me. So I start doing stretches. A lot of glute and hamstring stretches while I'm standing there just listening to somebody ask a question that I know is going to result in a transfer to an esoteric customer service agent who just does only that (I just love my job right now...). It seems like it's starting to get better. But it still randomly shoots through my back. I start to freak out. I'm far too young for this!!!

Then I go play tennis. And the pain becomes obvious. I'm out of practice. Right before the onset of the pain I hit for the first time in four months. And ran and hit some serious ball. Oops. I'm still too young for all this...